i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
