He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
