Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
