How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
