I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
it's great music for shaving your balls
Mom said you looked used
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just had sex on a roof
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
