i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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