I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
