haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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