I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
