We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
