So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
