wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
