Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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