MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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