When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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