Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
