I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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