Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
