Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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