I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
