it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
