please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
