Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize