I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
