The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
