She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
