i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
do herpes really smell.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
