God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
