you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
