Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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