yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
