i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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