She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
