but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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