first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
