He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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