ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
