$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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