i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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