btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
