a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Boobs are out for the taking
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
