It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
