I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
