Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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