Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
last night I used snow as a chaser
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
