my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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