C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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