You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I am mentally ready for anal.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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