I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
