why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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