Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
