Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
