How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You are a genius and a whore.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
